I hate emo fags. I HATE YOU! Bunch of goddamn sorry excuses for men.
Crying is only acceptable in two different circumstances.
1: You just got hit in the jewels with a 9 iron
2: You just saw your best buddy get hit in the jewels with said club
NOT before/while/after cutting yourself ON PURPOSE!
There are only two acceptable reasons to ever cut yourself!!
1. You've accidentally swallowed a bomb/cobra/key, and need to get it out ASAP
2. You've recieved such a grievous motorcycling or axe-wound, that the doctor passed out on sight, and you had to perform surgery yourself!
Yes I've done these! Yes I'm a manly man!
Aww, some girl broke your heart?
Your parents yelled at you?
Some big guys were picking on you, then kicked sand in your face?
You stubbed your fricking toe!? Tough shit!
You know what works better than sitting at home and cutting yourself as you cry? ANYTHING! Get out there and do something, god damn it!
Toe still hurts? Slam your hand in the door, you won't feel it anymore.
Parents yelled at you? Yell at them! If that doesn't work, suckersmack one of 'em. That'll show them who's boss! Don't go write another fucking song about it!!!
Some big guys pick on you? Poor baby...maybe if you weren't such a pussy, you'd be able to knock their fucking teeth out! Not a fighter? Well if you weren't so girly, and took care of yourself so you werent a scrawny, skeletal pussywillow, people would mistake you for someone with a spine...already a step up from what you are now.
Some girl break your heart? Guess what!? The old mantra "nobody's been dumped but me" is really getting played out. Another fun fact? Hearts have been getting broken since the dawn of man! They didn't have Something Corporate or Thursday or My Chemical Romance to kiss the booboo away. They got out there and whooped some ass!!!
Or are you a 'lover, not a fighter?' Then get out there and get yourself laid! Sure, its normal to be sad after a major breakup. You know what's not normal? TO STILL BE AS DEPRESSED ABOUT IT YEARS LATER! Go mack it to some superfly honeys. Go find someone better. I don't care, find some new chick and fuck her on your ex's lawn! Or light her house on fire, if that's your thing. I don't care.
Nice glasses! You're making a mockery of the entire nerd culture, who've spent years making that look unpopular!! Jocks have taken away so much from them, and now you take this!? Make up your own styles!
And finally, the hair...the emo hair. The mussy, blocks your vision, "carefully contrived to make it look like I don't care about how my hair looks even though I spend hours spraying and fluffing it" emo hair. I HATE YOUR HAIR!!!
I WILL CUT YOU! I WILL MAKE YOU AND YOUR FRIENDS CRY! I WILL KNOCK OUT YOUR PARENTS! I WILL KNOCK OUT YOUR EX! I WILL BREAK YOUR GLASSES, THEN GIVE YOU THE BROKEN SHARDS SO YOU CAN FINISH CUTTING YOURSELF!
I WILL CUT YOUR GUITAR STRINGS WITH A SHARPENED PANTERA CD (which will still work afterward BECAUSE PANTERA IS BAD ASS)
Wed Jun 16, 2010 3:57 pm